Better and worse

So I was thinking as my blog’s about being a wannabe novelist I really ought to say more about the writing process.

When I wrote the first draft of my novel I did it long hand, jotting it down in several smallish notepads on my way to and from work. Although my primary vocation is teaching, at the time I was doing some temporary office work. I’d already tried my hand at supply teaching for a year and a half and lost my enthusiasm for it.

The daily commute to the office was a great opportunity for me and one that I recommend you take full advantage of if you have it. Writing by hand has always been a preference of mine as it really frees you up when you’re not restricted by a keyboard and you can just scribble words and paragraphs out, draw arrows to rearrange sections and not have to worry about battery power or space around you. During my lunch breaks I trained myself to be able to dive straight back into my story, to pick up my pen and continue where I’d left off as if I’d never stopped.

It took me about nine months from 2009 to 2010 to complete the first rough draft and after that I left it for a long while as I was dreading having to type it all up because I knew it was going to be a very long process. In the end I had the idea to buy a headset and some dictation software to help me do the job and again that’s something I recommend if you’re not a very fast typer or if it takes you a while to decipher your own handwriting (mine gets pretty atrocious once I hit my stride). Most smart phones have something like that now but there are a number of software products for PCs and Macs. Dragonspeak is very good.

You know I really should have taken time out of work a long time ago to finish my book. As with the typing up stage I was really not looking forward to the editing process as I was expecting it to be a really tiresome job treading over old ground but actually, I’m really enjoying it. If I’d known it was going to be this much fun I would have done it a hell of a lot sooner. Currently I’m up to chapter eighteen and I’m pleased with the way it’s going. I still have a lot left but I’m getting more and more confident each day. I admit I struggle a little bit on Tuesday mornings but I soon find my strength and by the end of Friday afternoon I’m powering through it and looking forward to starting again next week.

As an update on my health, it hasn’t gotten any better. If anything, it seems to be getting worse but as long as I’ve got my painkillers it’s not a problem anymore while I’m working on my book. I felt a bit drowsy earlier, think it might be the combination of pills I’m taking.

I’ve been thinking more about getting back into my painting. I haven’t done much for a while and recently I’ve been feeling the urge to pick up my brushes. I went to the Other Art Fair over the weekend and seeing unsigned artists work on display really made me feel I should be doing my own stuff again. I really ought to get more involved in groups and societies as I need outside stimulation to get me motivated. I better get my book finished first though before I start dipping my fingers in another pie...

I’m glad the days are getting warmer; it’s really great to work in the kitchen with the back door open. It’s nice to be able to hang my clothes out on the line too, although my housemate is still drying hers on the radiator.

Two new things that I’ve discovered recently which makes being a grownup worth it...

1. Ice cream. When I was a kid it wasn’t that often that we got to have an ice cream from the van when the guy came round, but now as an adult, I can have one every day. Although I’m beginning to think the ice cream man is deliberately avoiding my road now...

2. Instant milkshake. Makes up for all the times I was told no when I saw it in the supermarket.

I'm thinking that I really need to get out more... (at least in the evenings)

Progress

It’s not been a bad week; I’ve made some headway with my writing, caught up with some old friends and I've got some stronger pills from the doctor.

I'm glad I made the decision to concentrate on my writing. I was anxious at first but I’m really getting into it now. Still going a bit slow but I’m getting better with the editing and thinking more about structure. I need to pick up some index cards from Smith’s or somewhere similar at some point. If you’re having trouble with structure I recommend using them. Basically you write an outline of each scene/chapter on an index card and spread them out on the floor, that way you can move them about however you want. I got the idea from a drama writing MA but it works just as well with novels. Try it.

It’s strange and quietly disturbing how grown up everyone seems to be getting at the moment. A couple of old acquaintances are getting married this year (not to each other) and some friends of mine are having babies and getting mortgages. It makes me wonder (reluctantly) when I’m going to start growing up. I’m thirty now but I don’t feel any different from when I was seventeen. I’m not saying I act like a kid, I just don’t feel like I’m a real adult. Maybe that only comes with children and mortgages and marriage but I’m not quite sure. Maybe no one really grows up, it’s just that these big things make other people think there are.

So apparently I’ve got something called post nasal drip disorder, something which I’ve read online is disputed amongst doctors with a lot of them thinking it’s horse shit. I’ve got a stronger nasal spray which seems to be helping a bit – I’m choking just as often but not as violently. Hopefully that means I’m getting better. The only obstacle now is my smoking.

I’ve been trying to quit for a while now but it’s hard when people around you smoke. It’s like shooting up in front of a junkie and not expecting him to join in. The other thing that makes it hard is my fucking book; I’ve only been a smoker (a mild one I must add) for three years now and when I first conceived the main character of my story in 2000 I didn’t know that making him a chain smoker would cause any problems. Whenever I’m writing a scene with him in it I’m getting serious withdrawal symptoms. It’s a good job that I don’t have a drinking problem to boot; otherwise I’d be completely fucked!

Oh, just one last thing.

Now I know that it’s = it is and its = ownership as in “this was its problem”, but can anyone tell me why Microsoft Word keeps changing its mind about it? Seriously! 

Writing (finally)

So I finally got some real work done today. It's only been a week. Having wasted a lot of time being unable to sit down at my computer (or sit up on my bed), I figured out the answer - just double my dosage of painkillers. Pretty extreme I know, but the alternative is lying flat feeling sorry and angry with myself.

Last week I got my newest rejection from an agency I submitted to a couple of weeks before. I was lucky enough to be sat next to some of their employees on a train and after building up enough confidence to talk to them, I introduced myself and told them about my book. They were very kind and interested and gave me some contact info for me to send some of my writing in. I tried not to get my hopes up and remain realistic and not fall into the trap of thinking somehow that it was fate and that it was gonna be the lucky break that I could write about in my autobiography someday but you know how it is. Short story - they couldn't take it further, but they gave me some nice feedback and said they hoped I would get picked up by another agent sometime soon. Kind of a bummer though after the great opportunity I was presented with.

Anyway, today is a great improvement and though I didn't get that much done I am keen to do more tomorrow. I've got another appointment about my back so I'm gonna take my writing into the city and make full use of a distraction-free environment.

Managed to hobble into work yesterday on my crutch (I'm only working Mondays now). It was murder on the way home, fuck knows how any of those pirates got about. There are some good sides to having one though.

Pros:
You get to sit at the front of the bus without feeling guilty
People offer you their seats (even on the underground!)
You feel like a pirate
You always have a weapon to hand
It helps you to walk

Cons:
You feel like a twat
You still feel guilty if an elderly person gets on (I offered my seat, thank you very much)
You have to answer the same questions a million times

As a result of my latest rejection and a way to motivate myself, I've started publishing my book on Wattpad, chapter by chapter. You can read it at http://www.wattpad.com/44910955-that-one-eyed-bastard

Welcome

I meant to start this blog three weeks ago when I quit my job but it kinda slipped my motivation. Ironically, my reasons for quitting my job were because of my lack of drive when it came to putting pen to paper or, finger to key, I should say.

I have to apologise here for the pretty basic look of my blog, having never done one before I'm just getting to grips with how the template works. Still pretty unsure how to centre the title.

Anyway, so I quit my job. I'd been at a loss for a few months and was thinking I really needed to get to work on my book otherwise it was never gonna happen. I couldn't lie to myself anymore that I was going to get it done in my own time or during my annual leave as I never did, discount the last couple of weeks of 2013 when I got some time in to enter a competition. Needless to say, I didn't make the shortlist.

Qutting a well paid job to follow my dreams was a pretty crazy move, I'll admit that. Since I handed in my notice I've been fairly terrified. For me, money has always been a worry - something I must've picked up from my mum - and just exactly what I'm going to do in three months' time when I run out of my savings I don't know. All I know is that I better have finished my book otherwise I'll have really wasted my time.

I was meant to start yesterday but I'm having trouble sitting down, after a pretty heavy drinking and smoking session I woke up with a bad cough and pulled something in my back. Three weeks later and my left leg is a write off. I'm getting some treatment from an osteopath at the moment and it's happily eating into my savings. Whatever I've done to myself, it's pretty bad. Got myself a decent supply of cocodamol and ibuprofen to see me through the worst of it. Finally managed to get a half decent night's sleep last night so that's something at least. Here's hoping tomorrow I'll have a productive day and not waste time on Netflix.